The Misadventures of (Young) Chrollo Lucifer
by OrionSykes
Summary: From part-time mortician boy to imposing as a pastor, the then leader of the infamous A-Class Bounty Phantom Troupe, not occurred to many –did had a childhood. [Please go to AO3 same story name for updates]


The Misadventures of (Young) Kuroro Lucifer

* * *

Meteor City, 22 years ago

A crane plummeted to it's death, suffocating from the putrid stench in the air. The baby in it's grip eventually dropped over several hundred feet onto a pile a junk. A mountain of accumulated waste rotting away as a trash picker came, ransacking through the piles of things, to find a dear baby boy of all of things! The man, picked up the baby boy and brought him home. And so was the genesis of chaos, or so the boy thought.

"Uncle, did you found me in a dump?" upon his musing, the 4 year-old Kuroro Lucifer asked a man, crossing his legs as he picked dried kegs, sitting in front of him. A pile of electronic dumps was being skillfully sorted in the young boy's hand. The man lifted his brow at the bizzare question. "No, why the fuck would I pick babies from the dump? I bought you from a woman." Young Kuroro shifted his head, wondering if that was a good or a bad thing. The boy's head just tilted even more. "What did you trade me with?" the boy asked in curiosity. The old man sighed as he shook his head, "Honestly kid, you have a fucked up sense of priority. A typical kid would ask if that woman whatsoever was your mother or a bitch on the run. Then again, what the hell is your age again. Kids your age usually dawdle on dumps before they can fucking blabber." It was an occurring trait of the man to insert profanity every five words or so, which the boy was already accustomed to."It could be that I ate too many rats from the lady at the nuclear disposal. Also, I recalled that my friend implied how mothers are terribly exasperating. That's why I didn't bother, uncle." the boy answered timidly.

"Exa what...? Goodness kid, you speak like a fucking fancy poodle. Well kid, we are all messed up in a way." the man added with a sigh, of course dodging the previous question. "So, Uncle what did you get?" the boy asked even more enthusiastically causing the man to shrug, knowing it was an unavoidable question after all. "Well, I got you by trading my.. Ah fuck it, porn flicks." the man replied hesitantly. "Ah fuck did I just say."

"What's that?" the boy asked. "No, just videos of..." the man stuttered slightly, this time he was the one tilting his head uncannily. "Owh, a bunch of naked women, son." The boy frowned. "What's so special about that?" the boy asked, raising a brow. "Different strokes for different folks."the man replied nonchalantly. Little Kuroro pondered on what was so appetizing with naked women, but decided not to irritate the man's already knitted brow. The boy simply nodded in unison; he would have found out sooner or later, he thought. Young Lucifer dismissed the thought as he shifted his hands through the clumps of silicon bars. The boy's eyes lit up when he discovered treasure among the lumps, which seemed like...

"Uncle! A CD!" the boy chirped. The man immediately ran to him in exhilaration. "Great job, kid!" the man praised him. The boy was groveling his hands as he sorted the CD's enthusiastically, revealing a cover of scantily clad women. "It's one of those naked women CDs uncle." the boy replied cheerfully. Immediately the man snatched the piece from the boy's hands. "Uncle, could I possibly trade it with a person?"asked the boy. "What the fuck." the man exclaimed in horror, which the boy translated as a question. "Because I need members to make the world's most infamous bandit troupe. " the boy exclaimed in brimming excitement. The man's eyes just narrowed, disturbed by the naivety. "Kids these days." he shook his head. " It's good to dream big kid, but you better not steal from the residents." the man added. "Yes, of course I will rob other cities." The boy answered. "That's good." The man nodded in satisfaction.

"So, Uncle, where do I buy little kids?"

* * *

His uncle finally shooed him to run along somewhere because he had urgent 'business,' also the fact that the boy's nonsense was getting to his head. Meanwhile, young Kuroro was wondering upon what is it that he did wrong, or that his uncle wasn't simply willing to let him buy more mouths to feed. Only when he was much later grown, he came to know how it was wrong in many levels. The weather was very sunny that it started to sizzle, so the boy decided to look for shelter. As he trotted to between the piles of debris, the boy's face slightly contorted in disappointment. "But I want kids." The boy mumbled to himself.

"Why do you want to have children at this age, boy?" a voice of a woman startled him. It seems that she overheard him from a distance. She was well over her forties, her wrinkled face complemented by her curly browns, clothed in the modesty of a typical Meteor City citizen. The boy looked back, puzzled. "No, I didn't mean that." the boy corrected. "Huh, whatever is it that you mean? You have a lot of babies dumped here everyday if you are in the east side of town." she answered. "But I need them alive." The woman shook her head (kids these days, she thought). "Come here, let me treat you to some fish." she offered. Kuroro approached the woman cautiosly, "Why would you treat me? And why should I trust you?" he asked in great suspicion. "Well, I know your Uncle Gonger."the woman replied. "He's here now, and—"

"Stacy, do you see my goddamn socks..?!" a loud voice hollered from the hut nearby."Uncle?" the boy called in recognition. A man wearing a fancy trench coat came out to the voice, slightly surprised. It was a drastic change from his previous apparel, which was literally tatters. "Hello, son. Why aren't you playing off the shore as usual?" the man asked. "I am looking for porn flicks. Oh, Uncle you look nice with that, just like a Yorkshin pimp." the boy complimented genuinely, to the woman's horror. The man's eyes gazed back to the old woman, who was staring so ever hardly at the man. The man glared back at the boy, his lips curving something between shut it and –but the boy didn't saw to catch what he meant. "Uncle, where can I buy kids?" the boy asked innocently as the man was horrified. "Gongers, what the hell are you teaching this kid?!" the woman shouted. "Damn it Stacy! I just told him how I got him, that's all." the man replied. " The woman glared at him, demanding further explanation.. "Well fine, I simply said I got him half a year ago from a woman by doing a barter with some porn flicks." the man finally admitted.

"What the hell Gongers...!"

"Yes I know I shouldn't have."

"You mean getting a child in a first place? Since when are you into human trafficking, you fart!"

"Uh, uncle? Is that a wrong thing?' the boy asked, worsening the situation. "Yes it is." the woman replied, shaking her head. "So my existence is a mistake?" the boy asked, but he didn't seem disturbed. "No, I didn't mean that dear." she replied sweetly, then her eyes glaring back to the old man. "I thought you hated babies. And it kills me why you would get yourself one, unless you accidentally impregnated someone. Heck, I thought the little pup in here was illegitimate like mine."

"What." A man and a boy across the other hut was heard. The man stroked his beard all the while wondering what to do upon it. "Well.." the man trying to find his words "But Uncle said he wanted to open a heavy metal satanic tattoo parlor. And he wants someone to help him with it." The boy replied, hoping that it helped. The woman eyed the cross tattoo on the boy's tattoo in great suspicion. "Helpers huh." she muttered sarcastically.

"Gongers, shame on you."

"Whatever, woman."

"I mean shit, here I thought I was fucked up."

Seeing how the atmosphere was growing hostile, the boy decided it was best to leave after all. "Uh Auntie, Uncle, I'll go first okay?" he asked politely. "See you then." the woman replied, waving goodbye. The man gestured a sliding motion across his neck, translated as a "you-are-so-dead-kid" statement. Young Lucifer pretend that he didn't see it and went straight for the shore.

* * *

[Extra Shenanigans]

Kuroro Lucifer was a very healthy young boy that was given birth by a young woman whose named will remain unknown, a citizen of Meteor City who ran from York Shin and back, decided to abandon the poor boy on Zone E, arguably the safest disposal area in the city. Fortunately, the young boy was discovered by a woman who nursed him, fed him questionable things (because there were not that many options to feed him with) and the boy survived all the odds. It was still unknown how the city had two earthquakes, three waste landslides, and 143 casualties from miscellaneous misfortunes that happened the day the boy was abandoned in Meteor City. A few years later, a man named Gongers got his hands on the boy, still three in tender age. It was still unknown why the man, the Meteor City's district very own trophy hunter (mostly alligators) would adopt a toddler. Like most toddlers would forget any memory in their first three years, Kuroro had no memory of the woman who took him in. But he clearly remembered how freshly caught alligator tasted like.

A.N. You can tell it's very different from my last story. And yeah If it was in all sorts of fucked up. In this chapter, Kuroro was still very young, so I made him rather naive of sorts. But he will mature all too quickly in the next chapters. I'm not the type to crack jokes, but I originally didn't mean it to be borderline humor. It's really fun writing this, I feel completely absent minded when writing this story. It's hardly what you would call planned, but it flows to the head somehow. I don't want the story to be too heavy, I guess. But they say if you don't gravitate, then levitate. Please enjoy and review If you have time. Thanks for reading!


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